Good News from the Vatican by Robert Silverberg

Good News from the Vatican by Robert Silverberg (Universe #1, 1971) has a group of tourists awaiting the election of a new pope:

“Every era gets the pope it deserves,” Bishop FitzPatrick observed somewhat gloomily today at breakfast. “The proper pope for our times is a robot, certainly. At some future date it may be desirable for the pope to be a whale, an automobile, a cat, a mountain.” Bishop FitzPatrick stands well over two meters in height and his normal facial expression is a morbid, mournful one. Thus it is impossible for us to determine whether any particular pronouncement of his reflects existential despair or placid acceptance.
[. . .]
We have been watching the unfolding drama of the papal election from an outdoor cafe several blocks from the Square of St. Peter’s. For all of us, this has been an unexpected dividend of our holiday in Rome; the previous pope was reputed to be in good health and there was no reason to suspect that a successor would have to be chosen for him this summer.

Most of the rest story comprises (a) the conversational exchanges that the group have about the desirability of a robot pope and (b) detail about the characters and the papal election process. Readable as this is, however, it seems to be a set-up for the droll final scene, where (spoiler) white smoke appears and the robot Pope finally appears on the balcony:

Yes, and there he is, Pope Sixtus the Seventh, as we now must call him. A tiny figure clad in the silver and gold papal robes, arms outstretched to the multitude, and, yes! the sunlight glints on his cheeks, his lofty forehead, there is the brightness of polished steel. Luigi is already on his knees. I kneel beside him. Miss Harshaw, Beverly, Kenneth, even the rabbi all kneel, for beyond doubt this is a miraculous event.
The pope comes forward on his balcony. Now he will deliver the traditional apostolic benediction to the city and to the world. “Our help is in the Name of the Lord,” he declares gravely. He activates the levitator jets beneath his arms; even at this distance I can see the two small puffs of smoke. White smoke, again. He begins to rise into the air. “Who hath made heaven and earth,” he says. “May Almighty God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, bless you.” His voice rolls majestically toward us. His shadow extends across the whole piazza. Higher and higher he goes, until he is lost to sight. Kenneth taps Luigi. “Another round of drinks,” he says, and presses a bill of high denomination into the innkeeper’s fleshy palm. Bishop FitzPatrick weeps. Rabbi Mueller embraces Miss Harshaw. The new pontiff, I think, has begun his reign in an auspicious way.

This is a pleasant enough read (Silverberg could make a telephone book entertaining) but it is plotless piece of fluff, and the story’s subsequent Nebula Award is a little baffling.
*** (Good). 3,200 words.

One thought on “Good News from the Vatican by Robert Silverberg

  • I think we agree pretty much on this one. It’s minor fun. Actually, I was less amused by the ending, than how I enjoyed the conversation and drinking scene. I wondered if Silverberg had been with a similar group visiting the Vatican and sat around drinking, maybe even having a silly conversation about a robot pope.