The Four Spider-Societies of Proxima Centauri 33G by Mercurio D. Rivera (Analog, March-April 2022) sees a rather callow young man involved in four first contact scenarios on a planet of alien spiders. During the first he accidentally punches a Rantulaharan off his floating scooter; the second society is a monarchy and their the queen refuses to meet them; the third have a force shield; and the fourth, slow moving burrowers, arrive with bowls of meat bobbing in blue liquid—when the narrator eats one (spoiler) he discovers that he has consumed an alien elder.
There is a final note to the narrator’s father saying that the mission is a wash-out and, while writing this, he ignores the AI telling him that the force-field society have decided they want to trade.
This a tongue-in-cheek piece, but I found it more silly than amusing.
* (Mediocre). 2,950 words.