The Fear of Missing Out by Robert H. Cloake (Asimov’s Science Fiction, January/February 2021)1 starts off intriguingly with a man called Candid meeting an attractive man on the way to a book club meeting. Rather than fumble a conversation (he later self-identifies as the “office loser”), he turns on his implanted auto-personality:
Candid turned on the software, and immediately his vision faded into a whitish haze. Only his overlays were visible.
When he had first tried the auto-personality in private, the sensory fade-out scared him. But he realized that the software couldn’t work if you were watching and analyzing the situation for yourself. You could play back what happened later, or, of course, turn it off at any time.
With all his senses muted except touch, he became acutely conscious of the texture of his seat and the cool metal of his buckle where his arm rested against it. He felt his mouth move, but he couldn’t hear what he was saying, and then he felt his arm rise and do something, an unfamiliar gesture the auto-personality had chosen. He didn’t resist. p. 43
Candid later discovers that his auto-personality has arranged a coffee date with the man, Barack, and he initially tries to deal with their next encounter on his own. However, after a fumble or two, he switches the auto-personality back on. Then, after leaving the coffee bar, they go somewhere else, and Candid briefly surfaces to find himself in a low-lit room. When Barack asks him if there is anything wrong he lets the auto-personality take over again, and after a while senses that they are having sex. This produces a good line:
And that was how Candid lost his virginity while unable to see, hear, smell, or taste anything. p. 46
The rest of the piece sees Candid spend most of the following work day watching himself having sex (the software records what happens when it is active), and agonising about not being able to be himself in the relationship. When (spoiler) he finally manages to turn off the AP for a longer period he finds that the excitement of personal interaction with Barack is going to trigger his seizures. Ultimately, Candid decides that Barack deserves his AP and not him.
This is an interesting piece that, I guess, explores to what extent people suppress their real selves to be part of a couple, or to fit into society more generally. But I’m not sure that is writer’s intention: if it was he would probably have ended the story at the “it was the only adult, loving choice to make” line, and not continued on with a final two paragraphs where Candid experiences as much of the real world as he can before he once more visits Barack’s apartment. If I have got this broadly correct, then moving the “loving choice” sentiment to the very end of the piece would be the better option.
So, in conclusion, a thought-provoking piece but perhaps not an entirely successful one.
**+ (Average to good, and probably a minor revision away from the latter). 3700 words.
1. If I was editing the magazine I’m not sure I’d include this reading-desire killing sentence in the introduction:
With a background in academic philosophy, he uses his fiction to explore the ethical and ontological problems of truth, human personhood, and aesthetic value. p. 43